The Most Important Sale You'll Ever Make Is Believing In Yourself
What if the biggest obstacle standing between you and success isn't a lack of skill, talent, or opportunity but a story you've been telling yourself for years?
In this episode of Sell by Being Human, Alex Smith sits down with Coach Monique DeMonaco, founder of EQ Wize, emotional intelligence expert, executive coach, and author of Most People Don't Need a Therapist, They Just Need Change. With more than two decades of experience helping leaders, teams, and individuals develop emotional intelligence, Monique has built a career around one powerful idea: awareness changes everything.
But her journey began far from boardrooms and leadership retreats. Raised in rural poverty by parents struggling with mental illness, Monique spent much of her childhood believing she wasn't smart enough, capable enough, or destined for more. Diagnosed at fifteen with learning disabilities and epilepsy after years of being misunderstood, she faced a choice that would shape the rest of her life: accept the limitations others placed on her or begin questioning them.
Monique shares the deeply personal story of how a single shift in self-awareness transformed her future, eventually leading her to become the first person in her family to graduate from college and build a thriving coaching practice. Along the way, she discovered that most behaviors people want to change aren't the real problem; they're coping mechanisms hiding deeper fears, beliefs, and emotional patterns.
From overcoming self-doubt to helping leaders navigate change, Monique explains why emotional intelligence is one of the most valuable skills anyone can develop. Whether you're leading a company, building a business, raising a family, or simply trying to become a better version of yourself, this conversation offers a powerful reminder that growth starts with understanding yourself first.
Because before you can influence others, you have to learn how to believe in your own potential.
Key Takeaways
- Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence and lasting personal growth
- Many behaviors people want to change are symptoms of deeper emotional patterns
- Resilience allows people to separate failure from their identity
- Most people are far more capable than they believe themselves to be
- Asking thoughtful questions creates more change than giving advice
- Emotional intelligence helps people understand both themselves and others more effectively
- Connection is built through curiosity, empathy, and understanding
- People are always selling themselves through relationships, communication, and influence
- Stories and emotions create stronger connections than facts alone
- Personal growth is a lifelong process, regardless of success or achievement
- Confidence grows through awareness, not perfection
- The most meaningful change begins when people challenge the beliefs they've inherited about themselves
In This Episode:
[00:00] Intro
[01:14] Meet Coach Monique DeMonaco
[02:22] What “sell by being human” means to Monique
[03:33] Building connections through authentic relationships
[05:17] Why emotional intelligence became her life’s work
[06:27] Growing up with learning disabilities, epilepsy, and self-doubt
[08:30] Discovering the Silva Method and the power of self-awareness
[09:59] Turning personal transformation into a coaching career
[11:53] Why awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence
[13:11] Resilience, identity, and overcoming limiting beliefs
[14:50] The moment Monique began seeing herself differently
[16:08] Being told she would never go to college
[17:35] Becoming the first person in her family to graduate
[19:12] Emotional intelligence as a tool for creating change
[21:01] Understanding the emotions behind behavior
[23:39] Why questions are more powerful than advice
[24:53] Uncovering the hidden causes of problem behaviors
[28:25] How emotionally intelligent selling creates trust
[30:30] Why stories are more persuasive than statistics
[31:58] Practical ways to strengthen emotional intelligence
[33:34] Lifelong learning and self-awareness practices
[35:08] Using past successes to build confidence
[36:58] Sales, influence, and human connection
[39:34] Why people often underestimate themselves
[42:10] Raising children across two generations
[43:07] What Gen Z is teaching leaders about communication
[45:13] Why most people are better than they think they are
[47:11] Imposter syndrome at every level of success
[48:10] Where to find Coach Monique and EQ Wize
[49:20] Closing
Our Guest
Coach Monique DeMonaco is the founder of EQ Wize, an education and training startup delivering emotional intelligence and brain science-based education. With over 20 years of experience as an internationally trained life, executive, and career coach, she has helped individuals, teams, and leaders develop core emotional intelligence skills including self-awareness, resilience, and critical thinking. She is also the author of Most People Don't Need a Therapist, They Just Need Change: An Easy Guide for Positive Sustainable Change.
Monique's personal journey from rural poverty to coaching celebrities, professional athletes, and executives gives her a unique perspective on human potential. She believes that with the right tools and awareness, anyone can create meaningful change in their life and career.
Resources and Links
Sell by Being Human
Coach Monique DeMonaco
Alex Smith
